Q: Why were the early days of history called the dark ages? A: Because there were so many knights!
Q: Why is England the wettest country? A: Because the queen has reigned there for years!
Q: How did the Vikings send secret messages? A: By norse code!
Q: Who invented fractions? A: Henry the 1/4th!
Q: What kind of lighting did Noah use for the ark? A: Floodlights!
Q: What did they do at the Boston Tea Party? A: I don't know, I wasn't invited!
Q: What's purple and 5000 miles long? A: The grape wall of China.
Q: What did Mason say to Dixon? A: We've got to draw the line here!
Q: Who made King Arthur's round table? A: Sir-Cumference
Q: Who built the ark? A: I have Noah idea!
Q: Why aren't you doing well in history? A: Because the teacher keeps on asking about things that happened before I was born!
Q: What did Caesar say to Cleopatra? A: Toga-ether we can rule the world!
Q: Abraham Lincoln had a very hard childhood. He had to walk 8 miles to school every day! A: Well, he should have gotten up earlier and caught the schoolbus like everyone else!
Q: Where was the Declaration of Independence signed? A: At the bottom!
Q: What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common? A: The same middle name!
Q: What is the fruitiest subject at school? A: History, because it's full of dates!
Q: Why did the pioneers cross the country in covered wagons? A: Because they didn't want to wait 40 years for a train!
Q: When a knight was killed in battle, what sign did they put on his grave? A: Rust in peace!
Q: How was the Roman Empire cut in half? A: With a pair of Caesars!
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